Billie Piper Scans

[thedivinegoat_archive]

It's Not About Harry Potter!

Last Sunday I was at car Boot sale with Doug and the boys, when I was presented with incontrovertible proof that Fandom Has Taken Over My Life. I bought a 2000 Billie, Princess of Pop Annual. Granted it was only 50p, but still... I'd seen it, laughed at the rather naff choice of pictures on the cover, and walked on. It was as I walked away I had a little voice going through my head "Come on, buy it. You could have a laugh at the photo's. You could scan in the pictures and share them with the online who fans. After all, the non-British fans have escaped her pop career so far... Come on, it would be funny." So, whilst Doug headed to other side of the field and tried to pretend he wasn't married to me, I went back and bought it. And now I share it's delights with you, my fellow Doctor Who fans.

To start, we have the cover -
The larger picture isn't too bad, but the full length one? For a start she looks so young! And the less said about the pose, the better.







Then we move on to the back cover.
I feel that the person choosing the pictuers, doesn't have Billie's best interests at heart. (Note the Totally Unofficial in the top left corner)















Title Page
Now this is a pretty cute picture.


Contents 1
Not too bad, but wait til you see the full length outfit.

Introduction
I just want to know what look their trying to achieve with that orange thing.
















Billies World
"Billie was Born on 22nd September 1982 in Swindon" That makes her 17 at the time of this annual. "Her full name is Billie Paul Piper, but she was registered for three weeks as Leanne." Did her parents want a boy? (But she got off lightly... Leanne?) "Her biggest influence is Madonna" Fortunately that influence doesn't seem to extend into her acting.


This is also where we find conclusive prove that Child Pop Stars suffered from Child Abuse.

Really, after being forced to pose with Mr Blobby; Daleks, Slitheen and Autons don't seem so terrifying.











Because We Want To
 "I think the reason everybody likes the song is 'cos it's good fun. It's about being youthful and rebellious in a positive way." Billie on 'Because We Want To

You might think from the lyrics and video to 'Because We Want To' that Billie is a bit bossy. In fact, she maintains that she's really a bit of a softy.  It's just that when she's performing, a darker side of her sometimes pops out which is a lot more forceful and pushy. Subtext - Girls, if you stand up for yourselves, you are being bad (dark, evil) and won't get any boys. Play at Girl Power all you want, so long as you  are really a pushover at heart.










I'm letting this one speak for itself. And the outfit too...


The Girl Next Door
That top photo is not flattering...


She Wants You
In the video for "She Wants You" it looks like Billie and her friends are enjoying themselves in some sunny place.  The video was in fact filmed in Greenwich, London - and to make things worse, it was a miserable day.  However, the gorgeous male dancers raised Billie's spirits, and, although she facied one of them, he was 20 and a bit too old for her.

Hee haa! So Chris Evans wasn't her first older man? She obvious got over this "too old for her" nonsense. ;-)

If she really fancied someone, Billie says that she would go ahead and ask him out. However, she'd be discreet about it, she wouldn't blatantly ask them out. Subtext, girls, don't be forward.  No one likes a slut.

(She obviously got over the discreet thing with Chris Evans as well.  They certainly didn't display much familiarity with the concept)

I must say here, that despite thinking Billie could do so much better, I was rooting for Chris and Billie's marriage, mainly to prove the tabloids wrong. And does anyone else think twenty two is far too young to be divorced?





Even though Billie readily admits that she thinks Kavana is gorgeous and funny, and she'd love to snog him, she says that they are just good friends. He's like an older brother to her, and is always there to give her advice, especially when it comes to handling all the pressures of being a pop star. Remember Kavana? No? Me neither. (Had to look him up)

Boyfriends have to take a backseat for Billie - her careeer is number one.  (Not long after this she started going out with Ritchie from 5ive didn't she?)

As well as Kavana, Billie has also admitted to fancying Ma$e, Robbie Williams, Prince William, Leonardo DiCaprio, Paul Dannon from Hollyoaks, Brad Pitt, Puff Daddy, Brian from the Backstreet Boys and ALL of 5ive. Phew, quite a list. Well, she got one of them


I Dream
Although Billie loves the fact that being a pop star means she gets to travel the world, there are drawbacks. In Japan she couldn't get her favourite beans on toast! Hee hee! Beans on Toast!

Billie wants peoplpe to like her music and the way she is - not just the way she looks. Aww, bless!

(Cute picture on the bottom right BTW)









Whatcha Gonna Do?
If she takes off in America there's a good chance that Billie would get her own TV series - called quite simply 'Billie'. Huh? And those are the most unattractive trousers ever.












And I end with the last page




As these pictures don't belong to me feel free to use them anyway you wish, but I would be grateful for the credit for the scanning.

Comments

[meyerlemon.livejournal.com]

I have seen half of one episode of Doctor Who, with no plans to view more, and this is still THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. The pictures on the cover! The orange outfit! The awesome quotes!

Jeez. Good times. Thank you for sharing this. :)

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

That Orange outfit is the ugliest thing ever.

Although the trousers come close.

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

That Billie/Mr. Blobby picture is now my favoritest thing in the universe.

*looks at the close-up*

Holy FUCK! That's Tales Of Robin Hood! I take people who visit me there just because it's so fucked up! And now I have this picture to just make it even more fucked up!



I know everyone else is fangirling heavily over Potter, but you just made my day! Yay!

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

I reckon it was the lingering trauma of her Mr Blobby encounter that was to blame for her marriage to Mr Evans.

Holy FUCK! That's Tales Of Robin Hood!

Next time I'm in Nottingham, I'm going to have to visit there. (Even though places that use Ye Olde spelling make my teeth hurt)

[katemonkey.livejournal.com]

I will take you — it is horrific. Ergo, everyone has to go.

[juleskicks.livejournal.com]

Tales of Robin Hood is so freaking scary. OMG. It's like an acid trip. I assume. Don't really know what an acid trip is like, but I imagine it's something like that.

(Have only just found this, also. Which is sad, because I really should've seen it much earlier, because. Hee.)

[angelsk.livejournal.com]

*waves from Nottingham*

I rember Kavana!! I also used to like Billie, I actually have her albums :) I always remember thinking that it was cool she was only 10 months younger than me! :) And I envied her.

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

*Pats you on head*

I talk not of my secret shame - the NKOTB, or the Kylie before she was cool albums.

They are locked in my past, and I console myself with the thought that at least I never bought a Bros album like my sister...

[that_mireille]

The clothes are awful, and the quotes remind me how much I hated pop-music magazines when I was a teenager... but she was an adorable ickle thing. And she looks better with dark hair, I think.

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

She does look better with the dark hair, but sadly the blonde is more in Character for Rose.

(And wasn't she adorable? I totally failed to apreciate that at the time.)

[purple-shoes.livejournal.com]

Here from time_and_chips... thanks for scanning! But I must say your commentary was the best part. ;-)

After all, the non-British fans have escaped her pop career so far...

Well, had until I lived in Britain for six months... That managed to be long enough to scar me for life! O_o

::snickers:: Brilliant.

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

Well, had until I lived in Britain for six months...

But at least you only had six months of it.

[purple-shoes.livejournal.com]

Is now a bad time to mention that some of it followed me home on my harddrive? ;-)

[havocthecat]

"Rose!" exclaimed the Doctor. "My God! Someone took horribly unflattering pictures of you. And you've been attacked by a wild crimping iron!"

Rose leaned over, squinted to peer at the magazine the Doctor was holding, then leaned back to sip at her Coke. "It's me," she said. "I've never owned orange trousers, much less orange trousers as part of a one-piece maintenance worker suit sort of deal."

"It must be a future you," said the Doctor. "Or a future you in the past where you were wearing some horrid alien orange maintenance outfit."

"Nah," said Rose nonchalantly. "Never happen."

The Doctor lifted the magazine to peer at it. "It certainly looks like you, only with different hair, and really strange clothing. And some sort of microphone."

"S'my twin sister," said Rose.

"Your--twin?" asked the Doctor. "But didn't we--"

"Separated at birth," said Rose. "Jackie didn't find out about it 'til I was, like, ten or so. She'd been adopted by rich parents, didn't seem right pulling her from there to our little flat." She shrugged. "Now she's a pop star, and I'm touring space and time. Think I got the better end of the deal."

"Oh," said the Doctor. "Well, all right then. Shall we go? Got to get a move on. Jack's waiting."

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

I think you just killed me.

Rose definitely got the better end of the deal.

[havocthecat]

*giggle* Glad you liked!

[infiniteviking]

Hahahaha! Fantastic!

[lovepollution.livejournal.com]

I must say here, that despite thinking Billie could do so much better, I was rooting for Chris and Billie's marriage, mainly to prove the tabloids wrong. And does anyone else think twenty two is far too young to be divorced?

I was totally the same. At least they're still on very good terms. And yes, 22 is far young to be divorced.

Remember Kavana? No? Me neither. (Had to look him up)</i? Haha, I remember him! I don't remember his actual music mind you, just what he looked like, but then that's probably a good thing. In fact I think I saw him once at a local radio roadshow. Heh. And for the record I would totally have bought that annual too, especially for the bargin price of 50p! I need to go to more carboots I think.

[thedivinegoat.livejournal.com]

At least they're still on very good terms.

Are they? That's good to know

[lovepollution.livejournal.com]

Yep. In pretty much every interview with Billie recently she's said how they will always be the best of friends and continue to be a big part of each others lives. Ir basically seems they ended because she wanted to advance her career and he didn't want to hold her back, so they finished it while they were still very much friends. Some reports say they even still speak on the phone a couple of times a day.

[frelling-tralk.livejournal.com]

LMAO! Thanks for that :)

[scruffyduck.livejournal.com]

This is also where we find conclusive prove that Child Pop Stars suffered from Child Abuse.

Dam thats funny.

[padmez.livejournal.com]

Here from T&C and LMAO! The pictures were funny, but your commentary was HILARIOUS!

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

She looks like Clea DuVall. It's scary.

[crossbow1.livejournal.com]

Omigod, someone not talking about Harry Potter! *dies*

Pretty much my entire friends page is cut-tagged spoilers.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Hehe! I am muchly amused. But the pics are nought without that commentary, indeed. :D

[dimlondeiel.livejournal.com]

The shame, I do remember Kavana! I never liked his music but I do remember the name.

[morwen_peredhil]

BWAH!

So. Awesome.

I have some hideous outfits in my past (all I am going to say is that I was a teenager in the eighties), but OMG! And all chronicled so publicly. Poor Billie!

[hudine.livejournal.com]

I's Chav Rose... oh wait it's just Billie Piper. She's a better actor than she ever was singer. She's the same age as me... it seems so long ago since back when she first started singing. Will always remember her as Rose though no matter what she does now cause I love Rose.

[eilonwyersatz.livejournal.com]

Scan of the back cover-
Who she'd like to snog? Does the list include 'The Doctor'? Because, damn.