Father, Daughter, Son.
Oct. 27th, 2002 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thedivinegoat_archiveI always find it strange looking at photos of myself as a young child and toddler. It's hard to believe it's me. I can see thoughts behind my eyes, but I have no idea of what those thoughts are. From six I can remember thoughts and feelings and I can connect to the girl in the photo, but before six it could be any child I'm looking at.
Today I looked at my son and saw myself at two. Face, expression, body posture all identical - and for a moment I was able to connect to all those photos of me that before I felt divorced from.
I look a lot like my mother. I look an awful lot like my mother. And my aunts. And my sister. (To the point people will ask us if we're twins) At any family gathering it is easy to see who's married into the family, and who's related by blood. My ties to my mother's family are strong, undeniable and welcome.
My father's family has always felt more distant. He doesn't have any siblings, his parents are dead and he's rather hazy on his own past let alone his family's. And I've never been able to pinpoint any similarity between my fathers face and mine.
But my son looks like my father. I have a photo of my father aged about two giving the camera that mischievous, cheeky boy grin that all two year old boys give - it's the same one my son gives me.
My son looks like my father, and this morning my son looked like me. I may not be able to find the likeness of my father in the mirror, but it's there. And it's already started it's journey down the generations.
Today I looked at my son and saw myself at two. Face, expression, body posture all identical - and for a moment I was able to connect to all those photos of me that before I felt divorced from.
I look a lot like my mother. I look an awful lot like my mother. And my aunts. And my sister. (To the point people will ask us if we're twins) At any family gathering it is easy to see who's married into the family, and who's related by blood. My ties to my mother's family are strong, undeniable and welcome.
My father's family has always felt more distant. He doesn't have any siblings, his parents are dead and he's rather hazy on his own past let alone his family's. And I've never been able to pinpoint any similarity between my fathers face and mine.
But my son looks like my father. I have a photo of my father aged about two giving the camera that mischievous, cheeky boy grin that all two year old boys give - it's the same one my son gives me.
My son looks like my father, and this morning my son looked like me. I may not be able to find the likeness of my father in the mirror, but it's there. And it's already started it's journey down the generations.
