The fun I had yesterday.

( What I did in the morning )

2:20pm Arrive at Bath's Royal United Hospital and spend ten minutes trying to find the Children's centre.

We'd been referred upto the hospital, because during his six-week check-up, the Doctor had noticed a slight heart murmur on Cullyn. She was fairly confident that it would turn out to be nothing, but it was there, so up to Bath we had to go. In the intervenning weeks between his referral and his appointment, we had lots of people telling us about how their baby was found to have a heart murmur at six weeks and it cleared up all by themselves. So all in all, I wasn't too worried when I took Cullyn to his appointment.

We went in to see the Consultant, (co-incidently the same consultant who saw Owen about his lactose intolerence), and he listened to Cullyn's pulse and chest in serveral places, felt his stomach and then launched into medicaleese. The upshot was, that he was fairly confident that he had a small hole between the two entry chambers of his heart, and a narrowing of the tube that carried blood from his heart to his lungs. He was going to have to go for a chest x-ray, and ecg and other minor tests like blood pressure and blood oxygen. He would also be referred to the super heart specialist at Bristol Children's Hospital, who should see him by the end of the week. He said a lot more which I didn't really take in because I was feeling slight shell-shocked. Not baddly so, but I really hadn't believed they were going to find anything.

He went through all the possible outcomes, saying they'd know more when they had the results of the test back. I then traipsed off the cardiac department, (getting lost again on the way), where some inane woman, wittered all the way through the test saying "I think it's so sad when the little babies have to have the ecg's, don't you?" "NO I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL MY SON'S HAVING TO GO THROUGH THIS AT FOUR MONTHS YOU STUPID BAT"

We then located the x-ray department where we sat for ages waiting to be called. I'd fed Cullyn in the waiting area, (there was some old guy glaring at me for breastfeeding in front of him, but he didn't say anything. I think he could feel me daring him to say anything), and he'd fallen asleep. He didn't stay asleep when he got placed on a cold metal block, and a heavy weight was placed on his lower body, pinning him in place.

We then traipsed back to the children's centre, (getting lost yet again. [and I'm not someone who normally gets lost]) to see the consultant. Fortunately all the test's came back showing it wasn't too serious. The one issue he did have was his weight gain. This is a problem we've been having for the last two months or so. When he was born, he was on the 75th percentile. He's now on the ninth percentile. Even using a chart for exclusively breastfeed babies, he's not gaining weight as he should be.

The ECG showed his heart is having to work harder than it should, so the consultant thinks that he's spending all his calories on his heart, rather than on growing. In a way, I'm relived if that is the reason, because it's not that I'm not feeding him right, or that I'm not producing enough milk, although I still feel guilty that the miliks not got a high enough calorific value for his needs. The consultant recommended topping up his feeds with formula, but I really don't want to go down that route - it feels like I've failed him somehow, but I also don't want to starve him. What ever I do, it's a guilt induced-headfuck.

We eventually got out of the RUH at 5:45pm, and by the time I'd picked Owen up from my parents and got home, I felt wrung out.

Bristol phoned this morning, and offered us a cancellation for tomorrow afternoon, so at least we won't have long wait for answers.

( In-law rants )

Anyway, feeling pretty blue, and (being pretty crass here) if anyone wants to write some cheer-me up fic, it would be most apreciated.

(no subject)

Just in case you haven't seen it.

trollprincess's Pairing List That Ate Fandom

There are some really cool pairings.