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Thoughts sparked by friendsreunited.co.uk
Nov. 6th, 2002 01:34 pmLast night I emailed a girl I used to be very close to at school. We were best friends from the fourth year (when we were 14/15) til after we left school and she went to university. And then we sort of lost touch with each other.
I think part of the problem was, I wasn't exactly the best of friends towards the end - in fact at times I was a bitch. And I regret that now, and I hoping she will contact me, so I can apologize and maybe we can re-establish communication.
It's only as I've matured that I realise just how mean I could be. Which is rather a shock as at the time I pictured myself as the victim. But it's an unfortunate fact that victims can often be the most vicious of tormentors.
At my first senior school there was a most definite hierarchy to the classes. There were three of us at the bottom, and even there was a order, A, Me and then N. A quite often was one of the meanest to me when at other times she was a friend. N was right on the bottom of the class pecking order, and was disliked by everybody. I'm ashamed to say that I was probably one of her chief tormentors. I can remember at times being aware of how nasty I was, but not really understanding why I was being like that. It's now that I recognise that it was simply a defense mechanism - if they were picking on N, then they weren't picking on me. That's teenage girls for you.
I hope that someday I'll bump into N, and can apologise to her. You never know, one of the others might bump into me and apologise for their behaviour... Yeah right!
I think part of the problem was, I wasn't exactly the best of friends towards the end - in fact at times I was a bitch. And I regret that now, and I hoping she will contact me, so I can apologize and maybe we can re-establish communication.
It's only as I've matured that I realise just how mean I could be. Which is rather a shock as at the time I pictured myself as the victim. But it's an unfortunate fact that victims can often be the most vicious of tormentors.
At my first senior school there was a most definite hierarchy to the classes. There were three of us at the bottom, and even there was a order, A, Me and then N. A quite often was one of the meanest to me when at other times she was a friend. N was right on the bottom of the class pecking order, and was disliked by everybody. I'm ashamed to say that I was probably one of her chief tormentors. I can remember at times being aware of how nasty I was, but not really understanding why I was being like that. It's now that I recognise that it was simply a defense mechanism - if they were picking on N, then they weren't picking on me. That's teenage girls for you.
I hope that someday I'll bump into N, and can apologise to her. You never know, one of the others might bump into me and apologise for their behaviour... Yeah right!
