Orgies in the TARDIS

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Oh, come on. Your minds were so going there. Two Doctors and a shed (police box!) load of companions? They were so having kinky group sex in many combinations before Sarah Jane Smith left to find Luke.

I enjoyed it. OK at times I was laughing so hard I couldn't hear the dialogue, but I enjoyed it. And I know that in the next few days, everyone will be pointing out the faults and the plot holes, and I'll probably agree with them, but for those 65 minutes none of that mattered. It was fun.

So about 65% of fandom are going I told you so! Hand! which was strangely anti-climatic, but then Micky and Jackie!! (What no Jake?) (And I never got around to making the post where I predicted Micky would rescue Sarah Jane, but I totally called it!) TOSH ftw on the time lock, (nice effect), and who wants to write the PWP for how Ianto and Gwen fill in the time until the Dalek explodes?

And Martha is leaving her mum to do her thing with the Oesterhagen key and passes the German shouting Daleks, (and how considerate of them to terrify the folk in the local lingo) and faces down intense lady with a gun to get to the bunker with the switches. We still don't know what it does, but it's obviously not a plan to wine and dine the Daleks.

Naked Doctor! Love Donna's reaction. Naked!Hand!Doctor beats TinkerbellJesus!Doctor hands down. (I thought the hand had already played it part by then, but getting ahead of myself I suppose getting stuck in the alt world with Rose, will kinda make up for having been trapped in a jar for 3 seasons. (I wonder if he has any memory of being the hand, and now my mind going to those fics where Jack has sex with the hand.)

The Dalek have a very inefficient incinerator. Cos OK Jack's a fixed point in time, blah blah, but I don't remember BADWOLF!Rose resurrecting his coat as well.

And Davros and the Doctor have a little chat and Davros explains why he's conveniently holding off killing the Doctor's companions until the big climax, and dust to dust, what Rose did the Daleks they are doing to universe. (I kind of like the mirroring, but I do wonder where the Daleks are going to live once they've destroyed the rest of creation.) And we see lots of dead people. (JABE! JABE!)

And Martha has a higher authority (this is where I started laughing), and Rose thinks she's good, Sarah Jane and Davros have a bit of a face off, but the Daleks have the transmat back-up plan, (and is me or is Jackie's outfit a bit nice for fighting Daleks in?) Gosh Jack and Martha are shippy. And the fantastic thing about Jack is that being shippy with Martha/Doctor/Rose whoever doesn't affect the Jack/Ianto/Gwen shippiness.

And the TARDIS repeats it's Parting of the Ways entrance, only instead of Vortex!Rose silhouetted in the door, it Hand!Doctor who totally fails to shoot Davros, and now here comes Donna, only she doesn't know how to work the gun, and Davros zaps her.

And the countdown continues. And then it fizzles out. Because Donna's pulled the plug.

And spouting a whole load of Doctorish technobabble! Catherine really is awesome here and does a far better Doctor than David did a Donna. Oh Donna, she is magnificent! (I laughed so hard at this point, spin Daleks, spin!) And skinny boys in suits, and Rose and Sarah have a little reunion over a Dalek, 100wpm. Oh Donna you are so awesome!

Three Doctors and Jack goes to the sex! But come on, someone better write that Doctor/Hand!Doctor/DoctorDonna threesome, or I will be very upset.

Crazy!Caan for the betrayal. (It's slightly worrying. I find Crazy!Caan almost cute.)

And there go the Daleks again, and what did you do? (There goes the time lock) Do you know what you done. Get in the TARDIS. Am I the only one thinking there's going to be a spanking in the Hand!Doctor's future? 'cos combined with the scene on the beach Doctor/Hand!Doctor seem a bit D/s to me.

The Doctor recognises Gwen. (And that bit between the Doctor and Rose just there is pretty cute, and felt so much more like she'd never been away.)

Crap music. Crap, crap music. (And I still couldn't stop laughing at the TARDIS towing the earth). And they got the fireworks sorted quickly, didn't they?

And cue the orgy fics.

Bye bye Sarah Jane.

Bye bye Jack and Martha (shippy, shippy, shippy) MICKY!!! Micky in Torchwood? Y/N)

And Jackie's like Gotcha! And Girl!Rusty gets her own Doctor to play with. (Bit ungrateful isn't she?) I really didn't like this scene. I mean I twigged how they would off-load the spare Doctor back when he loaded everybody into the TARDIS, but I really didn't like how that scene was written. The Doctor and Rose do not come out of it well.

And I don't like this bit because Donna can't come back. There's no reprieve no chance of her showing up again in later episodes. And she doesn't want to go, and he's knows what got to happen. And i love Donna so much more than I ever thought, and this is almost crueler than killing her. And Catherine Tate kills me here. And here come Rusty's loophole.

This version of Donna is dead. She was better with you. (I hate that. I hate that Donna ca only be awesome with the Doctor, and the implication she can't grow on her own.) But Wilf is awesome apart from that one line. And Sylvia stands up for her daughter at long last, and Donna doesn't know the Doctor.

Bye bye Donna. You still are awesome.

Oh Doctor. You do it to yourself.


All in all, I enjoyed it, and I didn't mind the big gaping holes, because they are just begging to be filled with fic. (Someone has to write the Rose being filled in on Jack immortality scene) And it was definitely better than LoTL so. Yeah. Good fun.